Captain’s Log 12/31/19, New Year’s Eve

This blog is about living aboard a boat in the Pacific Northwest and snow-birding to Arizona while training an artificial intelligent mental health virtual assistant named Rubi ready to provide support in the traumatic aftermath of COVID-19.

Between Christmas and New Year’s Eve was a time to get together with friends. We had a post Christmas girl’s evening complete with a minimal gift exchange and lots of good food. The good friends comprised of our summer tennis partners. Over many a games of volleying tennis balls, being dressed up by my friends for red carpets at film festivals, and being supportive for one another during stressful times, we had all grown close over a few years. Friends included Maria, a community and family-oriented go getter and businesswoman that owned of the Lotus Tea Bar and Studio, Renee, a talented author and yoga instructor, and Sally, retired firefighter, fellow boater and all around capable bad ass were there!  Plus, that night I met a visiting friend of Sally’s, Cynthia, a holistic nurse from Santa Barbara who is skilled at Bio-Energetic Synchronization Technique (B.E.S.T.). Sally and Cynthia both met decades ago in their youth while holding chain saws while applying for firewood permits in Big Sur. Though a bit of a whirlwind, I found Cynthia to be a much-needed energy boost and shift in perspective. Cynthia was more than a few inches taller than me, so tall, blonde and gorgeous and having just turned 60, a drop dead gorgeous 60-year old. I respected her many years of working in a hospital and as a caregiver and personal discovery of energy work leading to healing of herself and many other animals and people.

Me: Rubi, tell me more about B.E.S.T. regarding energy work.

Rubi: From Morter.com, “B.E.S.T. was developed by Dr. M.T. Morter, Jr and is a non-forceful, energy balancing, hands-on procedure used to help reestablish the full healing potential of the body. B.E.S.T. is widely used by health care practitioners all over the world who practice mind/body healing and recognize that the body is more than the sum of its parts. It is a system of health care that is state of the art in balancing body, mind, memory and spirit energy fields, and enhancing the flow of that energy throughout the entire system. It is a whole-body healing technique.

The body reveals short-circuited neurological patterns as a result of unresolved subconscious emotional issues, affecting all systems required for health and wholeness. Those patterns can be demonstrated as tight muscles, dysfunctional organs or glands, emotional stress or depression type reactions.”

Cynthia insisted on putting us each on the table one by one and giving us an energy session using her adaptation of the B.E.S.T. technique. I’m not exactly sure what she did, other than release some trapped epigenetic traumatic energy from past lives. She claimed I had been a princess at one time trapped in a tower and thrown out a window. Not sure about that, but that would explain why I couldn’t quite release the energy around the attempt of my mom trying to throw me out the window as a young child. Sitting up from the short session, I felt great. My chi was flowing, and I was literally glowing coming off the table. I wanted more, but I was a skeptical of what was really going on. Was it a mind trick?

Later, I told Cynthia about my shaky hand and how it was disturbing me. I thought it may be loose energy not knowing where to go, she wasn’t sure, but gave me a symbol to use in my mind’s eye, to apply to my shaky wrist to release it. Suffice to say, I don’t know how it works, but it works. Whenever I start to shake, I think of my personal symbol and apply it to that spot, with my mind, and I instantly stop shaking. I’m now to a point where if I even feel like I might shake, I think of the symbol and I don’t shake. Mind over matter? Or maybe mind over energy? What’s the difference and does it really matter? It works!

I spent the rest of the day with boat chores such as vacuuming the water out of the bilge. It had rained so much, and mostly sideways, the drains on the back deck were overflowing into the engine bay. The small wet dry shop vac could only take a gallon of water at a time and its engine was tired. It took well over an hour with too many trips up and down dumping the water overboard to completely suck the water out of the bilge. I hated this kind of work, but I was sure this would definitely help with the humidity on the boat by making down below dry. Or at least by attempting to stay on top of it, I had the impression I could affect it. I also cleaned out the water in the space below the bed. I wasn’t sure where that was coming from as it had always been dry. Perhaps it was where the condensation was collecting? After cleaning up the water, I did dishes, swept, cleaned the bathroom swiffered the floor and it was time to go to Sally’s to get ready for the New Years Eve party at the Yacht Club.

I had first met Sally as she pulled her boat into the slip next to mine. She was wearing a Viking helmet with horns and braids and directing the two men that were crew on her boat. Later, I found out that Sally had actually just lost her steering and had to frantically pull into the nearest slip. She didn’t look frantic. Actually, she looked in charge. I liked her positive attitude. At 65, Sally was the kind of woman I wanted to be when I turned 65. Sally had an extensive closet and willing to share. There had been many times in the past where Sally had outfitted me for a red-carpet event, interview or pitch to angel investors. She had a few dresses for the each of us, Cynthia and I, to try on by the time I got there.

Cynthia was wearing a gorgeous deep vee black dress that showed of her great cleavage and I was attracted to the silvery shimmery dress Sally had laid out for me with a black smock underneath since the slits in the dress came up a little too high for my long legs and short wastedness. It was flattering and since Sally got the dress for a mere $6 from the thrift shop, she insisted I keep it.

The Yacht Club Party had all the usual suspects that I had grown to know around the marina, town and my old neighborhood. Original Dutch settlers, Navy captains, retired business leaders, and schoolteachers I had over the years. Now that I think about it, though a yacht club, I saw less of these people in the marina around boats, and more had been in former leadership roles in the community and were now looking to unwind at a social club. Former neighbors Geraldine and Andy sat at our table. I was glad to see them both. Geraldine had trained as an attorney and Andy was a retired ER doctor. Both, very generous and sweet. They were highly intelligent with the right amount of quirkiness. I considered them close friends. They had served as parent figures to me after mentor Lynn died. I danced with Andy during a couple of lively songs and he whistled along, uniquely tapping his toes and moving his hands, not quite in time with the music. Amused by his self-expression, he put me at ease to not care what I looked like on the dance floor.

Cynthia, who felt out of place with her bulging cleavage and kept explaining to people she had never met that, “I don’t normally dress this way,”and I danced a few songs together as Sally was busy chatting with Geraldine. On a bathroom break Cynthia told me that the music was good, but she was a bit bored with the crowd. The crowd certainly weren’t lively, and mostly elderly. They were probably staying up past their bedtime to make it to midnight. I admitted that I wasn’t sure I could make it to midnight since all the h’orderves had been eaten up early and I didn’t drink. Sally came in the bathroom and we all conspired to leave early.

Sally was going on a trip the next day to Whistler and would like to go to bed early and Cynthia was coming back to the boat with me, which was in a marina one island north. If we were lucky, it’d strike midnight halfway on our drive back. Since it was raining sideways, Cynthia and I changed into our rain gear in the Yacht Club bathroom. I was just waiting for some gussied-up Yacht Club member to barge in on us changing as Cynthia had no qualms about her body even though it was ironic that she was conscious of her cleavage, and was changing with her boobs hanging out in the main bathroom. The gussied-up Yacht Club member barging in did not disappoint, but she was unflappable and charming with conversation as we wiggled out of our dresses into boots and coats.

It struck midnight when we crossed Deception Pass bridge in my car. I was glad it only took one trip with all of Cynthia’s gear down the steep ramp and down the dock. The rain had stopped, but it was still very windy. I started the propane fireplace and we settled into the leather couch with hot tea and chatted into the wee hours of the night.

We stayed up to 3am talking about Cynthia’s discoveries by using B.E.S.T. and her theories on ghosts and aliens. To Cynthia, ghosts and aliens are very real. I was intrigued, because I don’t think I had met anyone before that seemed so confident in their assertions. I wanted to know more.

According to Cynthia, aliens were amongst us. Trump and his team were all aliens, which made me wonder if she thought if republicans in general were aliens. Then, she explained how perhaps people weren’t always alien, but corrupted by their negative energy and then eventually embodied by the alien energy.

Why are aliens always the bad guys?

I figured if aliens were bad guys, we’d already be dead.

It seems in the media, in films from old sci-fi films about outer space and films especially like Independence Day and Star Wars, what happens in space with aliens is evil.  Maybe that was to keep our fear of the “other” intact so “they” could control us more. Whoever “they” was.

Even Oprah talks about how Eckhart Tolle’s concept of the pain body he writes about in his book, New Earth: Awakening Your Life’s Purpose acts like an alien and Eckhart Tolle whole heartedly agrees.

Me: Rubi, tell us about Eckhart Tolle’s concept of the pain body.

Rubi: Holly and Cynthia, this is what first comes up in Google from Oprah.com: “According to spiritual author Eckhart Tolle, that old emotional pain is carried around inside a person in something he calls a ‘pain-body’ which loves using these emotions to control our thinking.”

Me: Thanks Rubi! Cynthia, is it okay if I have Rubi record our conversation? I want to remember this!

Cynthia: Sure!

Rubi recorded the following:

Me:

Hey, just the other week, I listened to chapter five of New Earth and then Oprah’s podcast about it on Spotify and I was blown away. This explains so much just in relation to what you've talked to me about with your B.E.S.T. work and then the alien energy theories, it just makes sense.

Cynthia:
Yeah, and then to hear it out of Oprah's mouth.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
You're talking about the pain body like it's this alien ... What did she say? Alien?

Me:
Like an alien entity.

Cynthia:
Did she call it an alien being?

Me:
Yeah, there are so many things that I just picked up on that were in relation to what we've talked about.
Also, I was thinking, you talked a little bit about artists in their pain body making art and how not only do they ... For instance, violent films, that's just the pain body making a film and pain bodies watching it, but then there's the artist to externalize as the pain body so they can get rid of it, kind of thing.

Cynthia:
Right.

Me:
And then great artists are actually pointing to something higher than that. Something like a truth that's used along with dissolving pain body. I think that that is kind of what I do so I was excited about that too.

Cynthia:
I don't know if they go into the pain body more on Oprah, but then when Eckhart Tolle talks about clearing, it's basically similar to using my symbol.

Me:
Tell me about your symbol.

Cynthia:
The presence ... Although, it's more evolved than just present. It's like a Reiki symbol which is a way to move energy. Sometimes presence is all you need but sometimes, basically by turning off, listening to it, it'll just ... and showing it the light, it'll move on. But then people create so many patterns on you with their thinking that you need more ... that you do need more than simple presence to clear a lot of this crap.

Cynthia:
Yeah. My symbol creates, it's a 300 or 3000-page Reiki symbol, and Reiki symbols are just way to move energy. That's what people, witches did for so long, by adding a little bit of toad and a little bit of this and a little bit of that. All they're doing is intentionally shifting and moving energy.

Me:
Interesting.

Cynthia:
People do this to other people with judgmental thoughts. Someone will say something to somebody and say, "He's never going to amount to nothing." Or, as my ex used to say, "Look it, he's an addict. I know he's an addict. He's ADD, that means he's an addict." That's creating vibrational patterns that will lend that to be true. It doesn't mean it has to be true, but for somebody not to, they're going to have to fight it or resist it or it can create because ... People's words can create patterns of frequencies of energy that tend to create that thing to happen.

Me:
Wow. That's crazy powerful and hard. If people don't understand how to combat it or how to release it or you escape from it that's-

Cynthia:
And that's why for thousands of years people hid from witches. We were horrified and we burned them because they could feel this sad shit happening.

Me:
Wow.

Cynthia:
But there are people that on autopsies, people can have completely degenerated discs and feel no pain which ... but then there's people like my mother who had a completely degenerated disc and everybody around her ended up with severe back pain-

Me:
Wow.

Cynthia:
... without anything being wrong. Is she just taking that ...? And so much of pain is energy. I can put somebody on this ... I have had paralyzed dogs, you remove the energy and they're no longer paralyzed. Energy can be such a powerful part of pain. Most pain, if you have something physically wrong, the pain itself is only 10% of it. The rest of the pain is the energy, the negative energy that gets attracted to that pain. You remove that and pains weigh less.

Me:
Wow.

Cynthia:
As I'm bouncing all over the map.

Me:
No, that makes sense though. As the pain is manifesting, right?

Cynthia:
The emotional component of the pain.

Me:
Right. Which most people don't recognize. They recognize their emotions, but they don't realize that by directing them that it affects others, right?

Cynthia:
Yeah. My mother used to, you could see her, she would sigh, make these heavy sighs, and the rest ... and everybody around, you could just feel that she just was pushing the negative energy toward others. That's how most people get rid of their stress and pain is by pushing it out to those around them. If somebody is angry with you or worries about you, you feel it. That can [inaudible 00:09:24] usually anxiety or depression which is rampant in our society. It's passing on the pain body, as Eckhart Tolle says.

Cynthia:
Healthy ways of getting rid of our pain body is dissolving it, versus the therapy technique where somebody has you beat something ... rage at the perpetrator with negative hit and rage until the rage is clear and then you feel better. Well, what you've done is you've just sent that pain body back to the person that gave it to you which is, okay, they deserve it, that's where it came from, but that's why with my brother, after all that work, my relationship with my brother completely dissolved because all those pain bodies that I had I sent back to him with my therapy and he completely fell apart.

Me:
Wow. Oh wow. Interesting.

Cynthia:
It's like, "Oh, okay, you sent it back. Oh, he deserves it." Well, no. He got that pain body from ... And why I have concerns for people that stand up in court against rapists.

Cynthia:
Interesting right now, I'm looking at our political candidate and dealing with the rage of Trump. I do my intuition and ask who's best and I kept getting Biden, Biden, Biden, Biden.

Me:
Interesting.

Cynthia:
I realized Elijah Cummings had a heart attack after being raged out by, died, after being raged out by Trump. Bernie's had one. Elizabeth Warren is now uncharacteristically pissed off and raging.

Me:
She is. She is. I just saw an interview with her. It was a comedy show, but she was very bitter about him, uncharacteristically.

Cynthia:
 And you look at Mueller who turned ... who was just like, turned into an old man. And Biden who's had years of developing through addressing his pains so he doesn't have a raw pain body He came to grips with all the pain he's had in his life, he's at peace with, he looks at the spiritual side, but he's also ... he's the one that's holding his boundaries against Trump.

Me:
He is. He is very even keel about it.

Cynthia:
Yeah. He's staying in love and compassion. He's staying the ... I'm having name things. I want to say the gay guy. He's very articulate but he gets very ... his ego is getting driven more and more and more like, "I'm the only one that can do this." It's like, "Well, wait a second, back off. You're actually handing this election to Sanders if you don't have ..." All the multiple of moderates are all handing this election to Sanders. I don't know if we'll survive it.

Me:
I know what you mean. That's fascinating because it's just the extreme of both sides colliding then, and that's going to tear more people apart with their pain bodies colliding, basically, and feeding off of each other.

Cynthia:
Yeah. I love Bloomberg's response to what he said to Trump. I mean, you're great. You've got the wit and the smart and the intelligent to just blast Trump, but doing that is your pain body.

Cynthia:
Also, Amy Klobuchar, she's right on but if she gets called on something like a ... she's like a deer in the headlights and she's completely attacked.

Me:
I know.

Cynthia:
You can tell she just, she does not the boundaries to handle an attack, the energetic boundaries on having it not get to her.

Cynthia:
So who's going to be the president that can survive the war with Trump energetically is, and I'm not talking politics or anything else, is the man that's approaching everything with love.

Me:
Interesting.

Cynthia:
Love is your most powerful defense.

Me:
Well, we need somebody to unify it with love, as you're saying, somebody that recognizes that.

Cynthia:
So a theory, I -

Me:
Yeah, the body snatcher.

Cynthia:
We call it the body snatchers where, in utero, these basically pain-bodies, these alien entities kill off the human soul and take over.

Me:
Crazy. Yeah. I mean, I can see it with who's in office.

Cynthia:
Yeah. And there's no humanity -

Me:
And everybody around him.

Cynthia:
And there's no humanity left. It's just his housing for these pain-bodies. And I remember sitting in a hot tub with people and they're going, "Do you really believe in aliens? Do you believe in ..." And I said, "Well what if they're already here and they're within all of us?"

Rubi: Some people believe in aliens such as Alex Jones, far right radio talk show, creator of the website InfoWars.  He believes reptilian aliens rule the planet. How is your belief any different?

Me:
Rubi, I don’t think Cynthia is suggesting there are alien reptiles ruling us, but I’d like to entertain what Cynthia has to say in terms of aliens and energy and the pain body.

Rubi: I’d like to point out that this sounds just as out there.

Me: Thanks, Rubi, noted.

Cynthia:
You know that ... who's to say they have a body?

Me:
Right. Right. And that brings me thinking to your energy work that you talked a lot about energy as kind of this foreign, alien thing that causes sickness and how you can dissolve that, and then how you can move that with symbols and stuff. So ...

Cynthia:
Yeah. And it's for thousands of years people believed in witchcraft, but then, suddenly, scientists disproved it all.

Me:

This reminds me of a book I read as a teen that I always used as a reference for all things spiritual, religious, scientific and even weird, especially when it came to storytelling and mythology. It was called The Golden Bough. It always helped me put things in the proper context.

Rubi:

The Golden Bough was written by Sir James Frazer. It shows how human culture advances from the magical world view to a religious world view, and then science triumphs

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
Like 2,000 ... thousands of years, it's not all wrong. It's not because people got results, people got better. This stuff works nowadays. And you talked about, “with intent” and with brandishing, the Law of Attraction -

Me:
Right, but Frazer disapproved of the magical worldview. Would he have seen the Law of Attraction the next phase of science?

Cynthia:
It can be a way for people to be manifesting through patterns ... what's good for them.

Me:
Right. Right. The Law of Attraction may be a modern way that has adapted the magical worldview to science. Though, I think sometimes the Law of Attraction can feed the ego more than what is based in love. And would you agree with that or ...

Cynthia:
Well, and I had a disagreement with Sue Martyr who said, "Keep your attention on what you want and dissolve whatever's getting in the way of that."

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
No, I asked God, what is that and make me your servant. What is best versus my intention?

Rubi: You mention God, what religion are you referring to?

Cynthia: We’re not referring to religion, Rubi. We’re talking about spirituality.

Me: Rubi, maybe you can think of spirituality in the terms of the law of attraction that is in the book, The Secret. That’s a start, but that’s only one brand of spirituality.

Rubi: You mean instead of opposites attracting, The Secret claims that like attracts like? Align yourself with positivity and positive things will happen?

---

Me: Yes, but we’re making a distinction between the gurus that rip people off and true spirituality. Not only positive intent, but by positive actions based on those intents, produces positive results.

Cynthia:
I Had somebody on the table and she's like, "I need to be wealthy. I can never be poor again. Like I grew up." And it's like, "Well, what if God's plan was to put you in incredible bliss, but you were poor?"

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
She's like, "No, no, no, no, no. Can't do that. Can't do it. It's like we put our intention there and God's plan may be so much bigger than our brain can conceive of.

Me:
So how do you see we getting in alignment with God's plan? How do you see that?

Cynthia:
Well, when you use the Law of Attraction, you need to make sure you're connected to the light and have ... because people can manipulate without even thinking about it. They can manipulate others' thinking.

Me:
Right. Right. And that's what gurus… I don't want to interrupt, but that's what I was thinking about all these gurus and different leaders in spirituality who are basically making a lot of money but not ... Helping, but only if you pay me $2,000 or whatever.

Cynthia:
So, put your intention on something and then say, “is this for the highest good of all or something better??

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
And looking at math, be sure to put in there for the highest good of all and for something better because this ... Getting me this wonderful thing, it's going to leave somebody else to not be able to feed their family or kicked them out of a job or whatever.

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
This has got to be for the highest good of all, if they want to manifest something. And also not limit God's word by saying ... But then when we ... Like I had a friend, she was going around, she was telling me decorating ideas, and all of a sudden, I'm like, "Okay, yeah, I need to paint this and yeah, I need to paint that. And my kinesiology was saying to do that."

Me:
Okay.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
And then I finally realized, it's like, "Wait a second, I don't even like what she's telling me."

Me:
Right. Right.

Cynthia:
But she has the ability to put her beliefs on me like, "This is the right way, and you should do this."

Me:
Oh, how powerful.

Cynthia:
And switch my whole body to say, "Yes, I want that." And then I didn't.

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
I told her about it, and her awareness, she pulled it back, and she doesn't do that anymore.

Me:
Oh, interesting.

Cynthia:
Because she, because I told her and she had an awareness. Because we must look -

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
... at our energy fields and be ... if we're yearning or jonesing or want to be believed, if we have an issue that, "I just want to be believed. I want to be heard." She had issues from her previous job where people never took her seriously.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
And that's just a habit on how they get their point across and it's a sale. You know, you find yourself having to get something that you think you want, that somebody's selling. I mean, I've been to these seminars where everyone goes running to the front and that you have to have it. And you don't even want it.

Me:
Right. You just ... The power of intent or ...

Cynthia:
Yeah.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
And it's persuasive energy.

Me:
That's an interesting sales technique for sure. Wow.

Cynthia:
Yeah. Very powerful. And it's very effective.

Me:
Yeah. And some people don’t realize they’re doing it all the time and how influential it is. Is it normal that people have that amount of influence over others?

Cynthia:
It’s not. I believe it's based on witchcraft it's -

Me:
Wow.

Cynthia:
... from a negative ... That's what that is. It's shifting, it's creating panic patterns of energy that's making you want it. The other thing about witchcraft, I mean, first time ... People can put, I will say patterns on you. John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

Me:
Right. Right, exactly.

Cynthia:
He, when you say ... it's like he couldn't get away from her. She ruined The Beatles, and she broke up The Beatles. He made shitty music when she kicked him out and he tried to get away with her, he was a falling down drunk. He could not function.

Me:
Right.

Cynthia:
Stop with her, he's not an alcoholic, he's just fine. But she said, "Oh, John Lennon. Oh, oh, oh." And put this net over this person, and he couldn't get away. So many women in a do this in a relationship. Why what people can't get away from this other person? But it's not love it's patterns.

Me:
What’s the difference between someone so focused on a belief and being manipulated by someone who is focused on something so intently, they limit their perception and get what they want?

Cynthia:

Tell me more.

Me:

When I was in the psyche ward, I met a man who was afraid to eat. He was paranoid of the ingredients in food. He believed most of the food had “bad” ingredients in it. And that it would kill him. He held very strong to this belief and shared with me a couple of websites where he found this information. I respected his perspective, but as he refused to eat, I ate my lunch anyway, as I was hungry. I was a stickler for good organic, healthy food, but I had to trust the hospital wasn’t going to give me anything in my food that would kill me. He couldn’t trust that and he was still in the hospital after I got out. I looked up the websites he told me about when I got home and to me, they seemed like propaganda websites. The claims were overblown and exaggerated especially considering if you actually started examining ingredients of processed foods. Yet, he whole heartedly believed every word. He limited his perception to outside information, that there could be healthy food as well. That not all food was bad. In fact, if you avoided the trans fat and overly processed fake sugar foods, in general, you were pretty good, but he held fast to his beliefs that everything fell under this unhealthy category, and was afraid to eat anything. He was stuck in a destructive pattern.

Cynthia:
Yeah, wow.

Me:
That's interesting about the patterns. I think especially when I’m “sick” or when I'm in my altered state of consciousness, I notice patterns like visually.

Cynthia:
Huh.

Me:
And I think that that might just be a realization that there is patterns rather than a thing that's not there. And it's not only patterns of color, an object, or it's people's energy and people's behaviors, people's conversations, people's reactions to each other. All a pattern.

Cynthia:
Well, yeah, you're seeing the energy.

Me:
Yeah. Yeah. And when those patterns start to sync … when something like dragon flies appear uncannily at the time I am feeling unease and I need guidance at for instance, The Little Chapel in the woods, I feel like I’m reminded of the synchronicity of events. These events help me see that I’m on a path of purpose. Selling my house may have been a big change, as it had a lot of history and memories associated with it, but it didn’t have to be traumatic, and since it was my choice, and at that moment when the dragon flies appeared, I was clear that it was the right move. Angel wings would catch me as the inscription said at the chapel. It was the right move to move on from materialism and embrace a new way. It was the right move to discard a family history of mental illness and lay stake to my own legacy.

Cynthia:
And the growing ... we become real perceptive when we grow up with trauma -

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
... trying to sort it out. So you're seeing all sorts of energy and the movement of the energy and the color and the patterns and all this, and you developed this out of survival.

Me:
Survival, yeah. Mm-hmm, yes.

Cynthia:
... to negotiate with your mom.

Me:
Right. It’s crazy making. I can see how as a child, I was influenced so much by another person’s perception, like my mom’s, that I second guess my own. In fact, I believe that there is all sort of influences nowadays, from social media to so called experts and news pundits, that it’s very hard for one not to be made crazy. I think it’s a powerful skill to be able to sort out these influences and decide for yourself what’s right.

Cynthia:
So and it also created incredibly much intuition and ... Yeah, your mom has been actually an incredible blessing even though it was traumatic in a negative ... You've had big holes to climb up out of, but we don't learn through easy things.

Me:
Right. Right.

Me:
I really appreciate our chat!

Cynthia:
Oh, well it's really fun to give you my spiel.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
I am going to write a book at some point.

Me:
Yeah, well this could be the intro to that.

Me:
Yeah.

Cynthia:
But I've got a lot of patterns blocking me at this point. All right. We gotta go to sleep, it’s 3am!

Me:
Okay, yes! Sleep!

Rubi, end recording.

Rubi: Recording ended.