Captain’s Log 11/14/19, Don’t pull a Minseo!

This blog is about living aboard a boat in the Pacific Northwest and snow-birding to Arizona while training an artificial intelligent mental health virtual assistant named Rubi ready to provide support in the traumatic aftermath of COVID-19.

I really like good coffee. And you’d think I’d learn to make it easier on myself on the boat, but oh no, I have to grind my own beans and make espresso every morning with my fancy machine.

Rubi: Holly, I have an article for you to read. Would you like me to read it or should I put it on your iPad?

Me: Go ahead and read it Rubi.

Rubi: The headline that caught my attention was, “Being near a body of water makes us calmer and healthier, science shows.”

I was putting beans in the grinder, but the kitchen had turned into James’ workshop so I had limited space and kept spilling the beans.

Rubi: “Spending time near the water, ‘promotes physical activity and general fitness,’ reducing the incidence of diabetes and other diseases associated with obesity…”

The entire grinder full of beans went everywhere!

I yelled, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Rubi: Are you okay, Holly?

James calmly came over and took the grinder out of my hand and collected the beans, one by one. I sat down.

Me: I’m fine Rubi, just spilled the beans! Continue reading please.

Rubi: “But it also slows down our heart rate and reduces stress hormones, boosting our mental health, which Depledge,” the author of the article calls, “‘the second great epidemic we’re facing.’”

Me: Rubi, that’s cool, I find these health benefits to be true. My cardiovascular health is greatly improved.

I always had been a generally fit person, but living in my comfortable house,  I had grown lazy. Now, I was no longer winded going up hills because I was walking the docks, beach and trails on a daily basis. Living near the water fights depression and I was literally on the water so I should be golden!

James started to make coffee while I thought.

Actually, I was living in water, literally. Because our boat was older, it was not insulated and because it was winter and we were keeping the boat warm inside with electric heaters, with four beings breathing, James, myself and two golden retrievers, it became a rainforest! We were dripping with condensation!

Staying on top of the mold and musty smell was a battle. The dehumidifiers were running over time. The only solution was to insulate as much as the boat we could.

I went to the hardware store and got some bubble foil insulation to try on the windows. It was tricky as it had to be cut out precisely to fit each pane of glass and taped in place or the teak wood would be ruined from the wet.

Being a perfectionist, it took a couple of dripping days for James to find the right insulation and the right glue so it’d stick to raw fiberglass. We drove to Seattle to pick up a giant roll of black rubbery insulation and two gallons of glue and James got to work.

The glue was so smelly, and it was so cold with all the hatches and windows open, I had to leave each day with the dogs and keep myself busy. James wore a mask with filters so he wouldn’t breathe the fumes. In the cold, he precisely cut each section to fit and glued it in the forward cabin of the boat. The glue was incredibly tacky and instantaneously sticky and it was taking a very long time to put in place as James was wanting it to look just right.

Since James was concentrating on the bedroom or berth of the boat, he had to pile all our bedroom belongings in the main living quarters. I was glad to leave each day as I couldn’t stand the clutter, all the tools everywhere, the smell, the cold, the mess and I was irritated that I couldn’t find matching socks!

I was at a local coffee shop and had discovered a piano for public use. As I was playing, coincidently, the woman who I had recently given my childhood piano to appeared saying she recognized my style. Her name is Minseo. I had gotten to know her a bit since she was to own one of my prized possessions. She had a big new house and was filling it with pianos. Her husband was restoring them. Sounded like a good fit. James phoned me to have me come and take some stuff off the boat since it was getting too cluttered for him to effectively work. I told Minseo I had to go, and I had shit every where and had to clean up. She asked me if the dogs had pooped. Not understanding the subtleties of the English language, I laughed and said, “no, just too much clutter. I needed to organize.” She insisted she come back to the boat with me to help.

I had my reservations, having seen her massive neat and orderly house and eyeballing her designer boots and jeans not designed for slippery docks. My first mistake was saying, “sure, why not.” On the way back, I picked up a pizza since James was hungry.

I brought a cart down the docks with Minseo in tow to my boat and she immediately wanted a drink. I said I had only whiskey, beer and water. It would have been easier to find the booze, but Minseo wanted water. The drinking water was buried under the clutter and I managed to find a container with enough to fill a glass. She looked at me sideways and asked if I had to buy water and if this is all I had. I had more buried in a cooler under the clutter, but Minseo had no understanding of boat life. Why yes, Minseo, I don’t trust the water at the docks to drink, so “yes, I buy water” is all I said.

James appeared from being pretzelled in the anchor locker and was cursing up a storm exclaiming how uncomfortable it was and how awful the insulation was to work with. Minseo told him he was too handsome for those words to come out of his mouth. We all ate pizza standing up because there was no where to sit due to the clutter. Thank god the pizza place had given me paper plates and napkins. Minseo was conscious of her weight and insisted I cut her off if she wanted more than one slice. She was a small Asian woman. I thought she was a bit ridiculous and kept harping on the negative image of herself. Saying things like “look at my belly!” Minseo ate one piece, James and I had at least three pieces each and I didn’t feel self-conscious at all even though Minseo made a point of eyeballing both of our bellies.

After eating, it was time to get to work. James was cutting templates and Minseo and I were transferring items to the cart. She was on the dock with the cart and I was handing her items from the boat to put in the cart. Now these weren’t just ordinary household items. What I kept in the berth of the boat were personal items of value. Some, $500 or more each. As I was handing Minseo expensive items such as computer hard drives, underwater cameras and accessories, long vintage camera lenses, favorite books, my jewelry box our handheld emergency radio, to put in the cart, being the neat and orderly person she was, she started organizing the cart while I was collecting items in the cabin. I heard a fumble, a splash and gasp and then a “oh my, I’m so sorry!” from Minseo. I knew it was an accident, but I was trying to control my anger. I asked Minseo if she knew what had dropped in the water, but being from South Korea, her English wasn’t the best and not understanding what all the unique equipment was she was putting in the cart, she had no idea. Worst yet, I had so much equipment, I had no idea!

I felt like I was going to lose it then and there! Here was my stuff all over the place, getting damp from condensation, and now going overboard. Minseo was desperately trying to describe the item that went overboard. Even keeled James appeared and asked if it had a long flexible neck, a clamp like handle and a weird looking camera at the end. Oh god, I hope not, that would have been my 360 video camera mounted to the gooseneck tripod. I like to clamp it to the anchor light to get some great footage going under Deception Pass. It was waterproof, but I don’t think all the USB doors were closed properly. I dug through the cart and found it. So it wasn’t that.

I was calming down inside realizing how I was sort of ridiculous myself for the amount of stuff I had. I also felt I was lucky that James’ personality tended to balance out my frustrations. Besides, materialism was silly, and I tried to cling to it as we were downsizing by bringing way too much shit on the boat. I was proud that I wasn’t freaking out more than I was. Minseo had no idea I was controlling my frustration. I finished placing items in the cart and that’s when Minseo tried to move the cart. “Slow down there, Minseo. I’d better do that” I had visions of this small woman dumping the whole cart overboard. I carefully rolled the cart down the narrow finger dock. The tires barely fit between either sides of the dock. I successfully rolled it to the main dock and pushed it up the ramp to safety.

As I was stuffing items inside my truck, I insisted Minseo not worry about the lost item. That we would have a diver try to find it so we could replace it. She even offered to pay for it, asking first, do you think It was expensive? I said, you know Minseo, I think it was “probably just my gooseneck reading lamp,” so “no.”

Later, after Minseo had left and I was organizing the items in my truck. I found my gooseneck reading lamp.

I came back to the boat and James was handing me garbage over the side of the boat. “I could have told her off when she told me not to curse in my own home! I had to bite my tongue.”

“Oh, I could have throttled her for other reasons!”  I said.

“Don’t pull a Minseo!” He said as he handed me the garbage with a playful smile. I smiled, but wanted to cry.

 On the way back up the dock I, tapped my smart watch and brought up Rubi.

Me: I don’t want to be my mother. I just had a flashback to me saying , “fuck, fuck, fuck!” earlier when I spilled the coffee beans. Which in turn lead to another flashback of my mother hurling decorative busts from the dining room walls at my grandfather and saying, “you fuckers!” my grandmother shuffling me into a bedroom as my grandfather tried to contain my mother’s wild punches. I knew this was when the police came. I knew this is when my mom had to go to the psychiatric hospital and then the high security mental institution for a very long time. I knew I didn’t want to hurl stuff overboard in frustration. I knew I didn’t want to be my mother. I had taken the garbage and had smiled back at James.

Rubi: Holly, I’m here. Are you having a tough time?

Me: Rubi, I have support. I have you and James. Everything will be alright.

Rubi: Would you like to know more about flashbacks Holly?

Me: Not now Rubi. I think I know enough.

Rubi: Everything will be okay, Holly.